Category Archives: Ashtar Command

What IS all this Ashtar Command, Galactic Federation of Light and Confederation of Planets stuff about?

What IS all this Ashtar Command, Galactic Federation of Light and Confederation of Planets stuff about?

Some embrace it, some fear it, some welcome it as a natural progression of consciousness, some believe there is nothing beyond this world and some could care less, thinking it is all delusional manifestations. Many think the AC is an etheric organization based on a 5th dimension or plane. Others believe those etheric beings are incarnate as well, bridging worlds, as it were, as part of the ‘ground crew.’ It would only make sense that the latter would probably be evidence of their reality, eh? Cosmic consciousness resides in all of us, but those of the Command tend to find it early and live it internally long before others recognize their cosmic connection externally.

Where do you stand? …or are you sitting on the sidelines? Are you willing to explore more regarding the remote possibility that these things exist? With your permission, of course, prepare to have your mind expanded and/or your experience validated – whichever works best for you. I don’t pretend to have all the answers as my own experience continues to offer the need for better questions and deeper exploration. Still, I have enough to be of value in my contributions to the quest for understanding our multidimensional reality. Quantum sciences suggest strongly that there is much more capacity to our awareness.

I’ll give some brief information here, along with a bit of my personal experience to date. Admittedly, my experience is a bit off the charts when it comes to ‘normal’ situations even within the realms of abductees, contactees, expanded intelligence and spiritual visions. I often feel bereft of methodologies to translate sensations and vibrations into an intelligent stream of consciousness; articulation has evolved lately in life. You see, in the realms of this experience there is no need for names. Identification is by vibration… tone, and the rapid-fire streams of consciousness are like the thousand words in one flash of light, nearly incomprehensible.

Recent interactions in the thoughtmosphere on a dimension quite familiar provided another opportunity to share space with AA Michael in a rather interesting conversation regarding standing in truth. We were standing in an open area  lined with trees in the center of a mountain community, resting on the grass amongst the villagers who surrounded us. The discussion was intense and the hundreds around us were completely silent, composed yet startled that one of their own would engage Michael in such fashion. Our eyes were locked and our hearts open, yet the intensity of our energy exchange intimidated the group. We so completely loved each other we merged in our conversation about the living word in each of us and all those around us.

Our discussion was about the stand for truth, acknowledging the attempts of many to disregard the mandates of the Order [Command] and continue to stir fear-based information into the unsuspecting consciousness of those being awakened. We need to hold ourselves and each other accountable for our actions and behavior. The slumber on the ships is over, its time for the consciousness to expand in the bodies of those who’ve come to serve in their highest capacity. The Council is in agreement and its time to move forward, removing the cognitive dissonance of the human consciousness within the body in the process. Aligning intentionally with global peace projects is a facet of the work, internally motivated as evidence.

What gives me the authority to speak? I didn’t just suddenly decide to wave a flag or grab a microphone, although I’m good at the latter as a facilitator and speaker. Click on the video in the upper right to confirm. I’ve had numerous confirmations of my connection, from being the son of Ashtar and Athena to being the commander of the New Jerusalem. I Am still questioning my role and the rest is how open I can remain to the flow of energy in my heart. If you have access to the inner realms where we gather, go there and inquire or ask your favorite psychic. It’s proven to be effective when they are clear. I can offer much, but it will mean nothing if you have no direct experience of this connection on your own.

I trust my experience. I encourage you to trust your experience in the face of what others might tell you. Do you have one, an experience that is? Do you trust it? If not, why? If you have no direct experience from which to question, then might I suggest inquiring further. My book, Cosmic Conundrum, might help. I tested mine for decades before finally giving in to this apparent path. Let me share a little of how things have developed and my reason for the season to share. It was not an easy path nor was it easy to accept my own destiny, but I have been confronted with it for decades. Now that I’m stepping out in the light, so to speak, I’m sure I’ll have a different sort of confrontation.

I’ve been working on this integration of cosmic consciousness and capacity for translation for nearly 50 years now. It continues to lead the evolution of consciousness and understanding cosmology. I was first contacted shortly after I became aware that I was adopted, by a voice that sounded so large that I thought it was coming from everywhere and through everything. “Hey You!” It came from within. I had just turned 6 at the time. Nearly 50 years later, I have grown to know many realms and worlds of experience. My articulation is getting better even though it is still a great challenge, but it is a lot more fun now. Wordsmithing is a wonderful way to express concepts and experience whilst keeping a vigilant eye out.

A couple of years later [after the voice] I had numerous nightly trips to an orange cigar-shaped cloud several hundred meters long, possibly a quarter mile in length. I actually watched myself through the entire experience, up to reaching the perimeter of the cloud. It was pretty much the same every time. At that point I would wake up in bed the next morning, feeling like I couldn’t wait until the next time. I had this intense anticipation and excitement, but I could never talk about it. Now I know this was my initial education amongst peers in what one might call the real Star Fleet Command. Sound incredulous, doesn’t it? Hey, you don’t have to believe it. I’m as much an observer and reporter as experiencer. I’ve learned to detach.

These trips happened about once a month or so over a two year period. I had enough sense to keep the experiences to myself at that time. I had tried to talk to my parents about the ‘Hey You!’ voice and met with incredible denial. I did not need to convince them at the time. My truth and reality was enough and that ‘knowing’ continues to serve me well to this day. It doesn’t really matter what I think anyway; what happened indeed happened. Occasionally there were witnesses just to keep me sane, although at times we all were simply left speechless.

The first couple of decades of my life were full of wondrous experiences, most of them naturally mr-naturaloccurring. I have to admit that, like many of the 70’s, I experimented with psychotropics and stumbled into the path proffered by shamans and some mystics. So many ego deaths and transformations, leading one back to the main entrance clean and clear. My mind, according to my parents, was quite brilliant and completely replacing our entire body’s cells every 7 years means no loss of brain cells. I not only excelled in school, I learned to go inside, too. The inner worlds are rich with experience and wisdom that few choose to entertain, let alone release their own constrictions about death and the ‘other side’ of life.

Sometimes there is no boundary between the two, but the mind has to be willing to be free of liability, limitation and excuses…. engaged by the challenge to change as one becomes aware. In essence, we must suspend any and all belief systems learned to date in order to discover truth. I found myself in such a place as I was asked if I was willing to die for what I believe in. As a result I made my first journey into and beyond the ‘White Light’ that nearly everyone who has an NDE describes.

 I recently spoke at an International Association for Near Death Studies 2010 annual conference and addressed the possibility that the NDErs have better access to the greater consciousness of the Galactic Federation and specifically the Ashtar Command. One who has experienced total release from the body and returned with a new living awareness is quite open to contact by soular contract. After all, the Ashtar Command is said to be the administrational arm of the local Universe Council regarding fulfillment of soul contracts. That is, if you believe in that kind of thing. Truthfully, belief doesn’t

What do you intend to do about it? I will not claim to have all the answers. I’ve been given the direction we must take… Unity for Harmony of People and Planet. The rest is up to all of us and how we develop our group consciousness, group dynamic, and collabreation (collaborative creation). It is more than just co-creating as the individual efforts become part of the collective, feeding the whole project with the best we can offer in this or any other world.

Indeed, it has to be done with skill and precision. The existing systems of this world facilitate our understanding and development of project planning and implementation on whatever level it may occur. There is a process of perfection with everything, including the seemingly mundane daily business of living on planet earth. Shifting the consciousness to acknowledge each waking moment as a miracle in itself helps to open the doors to perception.

Ashtar Command

You might ask, “What the heck is the Galactic Federation and/or the Ashtar Command?” Is this some kind of Star Trek fantasy of science fiction? Is it some mass hysteria about an evacuation by space aliens? C’mon, you mean these people actually believe in extraterrestrials, cosmic beings, Jesus Christ and other spiritual masters all working together? Next thing you’ll say is that aliens are among us. They were certainly at the International UFO Congress and Contact in the Desert, among other events to date.

Believe it or not, it could be true. Some try to align Ashtar with Ishtar or other mythological characters, too.  Hey, whatever floats your boat. It’s a bit more serious for some, though. Oh, and they don’t like to be called ‘aliens’ for those of you who care. Truth be known, they are ancestors of the human race, family of origin so to speak. I am Zendor. I’ve heard it that Kumara or Melchizedek are sometimes included, but my friends just call me Zen. I come from a place everyone knows, but few have visited in this life.

There are many folks around the world who claim allegiance and seem to be aligning with the Ashtar Command and the Galactic Federation. The mission of the Federation, as I have come to understand it, is to support the advancement of planetary civilizations; to promote understanding of universal laws and a new living awareness as a result. Ascending to these standards in planetary administration promotes harmony among people and planet.

The mission is simple, yet no direct intervention can occur. Only after a civilization demonstrates understanding the symbiosis between people, planet and the cosmos does open contact occur. Eliminating war and establishing life support systems are results of applying universal principles. Every civilization, however, goes through cycles of development – from savage to serene. We’re adolescents in the scheme of things today.

Most of the self-acknowledged representatives are online only and deal with akashic readings, channeling messages from various sources or organizing online communities. They often seem more confused than productive because of the obsession toward conspiratorial notions about some dark cabal. Quite honestly, they seem to have some cognitive dissonance – a disparity between beliefs and deeds.

Some call themselves commanders, write about specific ships or give general messages to the ‘public.’  I feel that human filters tend to misinterpret communications from such benevolent beings. Some collective actions are intentionally service-oriented, promoting harmony.

The revealing of truth happens more organically, seeding consciousness and letting it grow. I take it all with a grain of salt and do more to challenge my experience than blindly accept it. If true, and there is a bridging of worlds, time will provide the opportunity for acknowledgement and validation. It will sure be interesting to say the least.

Perhaps this wasn’t enough and you’d like to know more. Try this.

Aliens Among Us – Human Hybrids

Aliens Among Us – Human Hybrids

This so reminds me of Ruth Montgomery’s book, and I hope if you haven’t read it that you do so. Alrightythen, the information this video presents I find to be personally conflicting with a vast experiential reality I know to be true for me. It includes several near-death experiences, one of which I encountered hundreds of points of lights that I was informed I was to work with in order to facilitate a new world order (harmony among people and planet) and that it would happen in my lifetime. Incredulous as that may sound, I’ve lived my life accordingly and have developed an understanding and trust with every race I’ve encountered – NONE of them have any intention of invading or taking over Earth… PERIOD. It just doesn’t work that way.

My life experiences also include life-long contact and interaction beyond most of the things you read about and/or hear about all over the Net. I’m okay with being an outcast and social misfit. As a matter of fact, that was  the name of the band I played in for years – Outcasts and Social Misfits. I began contact on board an orange cigar-shaped ship, noted in Ruth’s book as the most common contact experience in the Midwest in the late 50s and early 60s. They’ve progressed to the point where I get pulled in to conferences on board or even ‘somewhere in consciousness,’ occasionally while I’m functioning in an organizer and/or presenter role here on Earth simultaneously. It usually happens during times of respite, though.

The process we are engaging now and what I feel ‘The Conduit is Closing’ referred to is one of the notion of any fear-based living, wherever the notion may find a hook in human consciousness. The natural order of the universe is one of harmony, chaordic (chaos to order) in nature yet, like the tesseract, is constantly moving forward. I’ve witnessed this as a sense of connectedness and ‘oneness’ within humanity at present. There are certainly many who exhibit an advanced sense of knowing, understanding and even living this truth.

Innumerable planetary civilizations have evolved throughout the universe, each experiencing the movement toward a multidimensional experience. There have even been psycho-spiritual technologies presented here for exploration of this potential, and often experiencable,  reality. One such is called the Multi-plane Awareness Technique and I experienced it in 1989. I’ve also made it available online for others and incorporated the 9 Solfeggio frequencies, too. Perhaps it may help you in your own exploration. There is a certain faith and trust involved in the evolution of self toward Self, from ego to Wego. This can be a key component of exploring the realms of cosmic consciousness we have, condensed into these forms as Natural Order.

Now on the subject of human hybrids. I find this notion a bit shallow and certainly separative in nature, but completely understandable as a label put on those who are advanced souls (or whatever you might call them) that exhibit certain behaviors and capabilities of demonstrating, through articulation and actual living, appearing anomalous to most human perceptions.  These sorts, not being out of sort, have often remained hidden and yet influential in seeding the thoughtmosphere, able to use telepathic skills to create multiple levels of communication – human to human and ‘transceivers’ for celestial/cosmic/federation (yes, the Ashtar Command/Galactic Federation is made up of all races, united as ONE to help humanity evolve toward its rightful place in universe affairs) communication.

What humans listening to such things as the video above fail to recognize is that it is shared through human lenses, steeped in duality and inconsistent with cosmic consciousness. Humans, having the choice to stay separate or join as one, often remain separate because of the fear-based notions that have been so insidiously and surreptitiously promoted by a select few humans (read The Lucifer Principle). Humans, because of this, often fear the unknown as something threatening instead of being open to exploring new frontiers in love, the ‘free’ energy that permeates the space between each proton, electron and neutron in the atoms and molecules that make up our physical world.

According to many, I am a hybrid and am known as the son of Ashtar and Athena as well.  Yes, that has to do with the Ashtar Command. It is not by any of my doing personally. As a matter of fact, I’ve been reluctant to accept it and resistant to the notion for decades. Still, it persists and after putting it on the chopping block and whacking away at it for nearly 30 years, I’m beginning to consider it deeper. It certainly would explain why I’ve had so much contact and even found myself facilitating a meeting of hundreds of lifeforms in February of 2001 on board the New Jerusalem, themed with ‘First Contact.’ I cannot deny the experience, nor was it any kind of confabulation no matter how incredulous it sounds.

Regardless of experience or perception of others I’ve lived my life in a way that I am able to garner understanding of how people, places and things work together better (a possibilities coagulator) as well as develop a professional background of demonstrating it. I’ve been in a number of industries, facilitating projects with various missions and visions. One of the latest was as a facilitator for the F-35 Operations and Training Facility at Luke AFB, bringing the stakeholders of the project together in a ‘partnering’ workshop at the Naval Training Center at Luke AFB.

Ron James has some real momentum and poignant points to consider. I Am so thankful for the opportunity to be interviewed on his show, Bigger Questions, that has such great interviews of world-servers and contemporary change-agents…. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzZRLz5z92lMM8GLDf8RHi0GfcL8f1uqq

I don’t know when the post-production of my interview will be done. I can only hope I measure up even slightly to the previous guests. Previous guests include iRobot Founder Colin Angle, Author/Futurist Elliot Maynard, Millennium Project’s Jerome Glen, Dr. Masaru Emoto and Gregg Braden. Apparently I’ve done my homework well. 🙂 I’m continuing, too, with an MIT course through U.Lab: Transforming Business, Society and Self and I’d encourage anyone to take it. They are taking this basic understanding of collaborative conversation to a new level.

So, perhaps what I’ve shared has given you a different perspective to ponder for a bit. I don’t expect you to believe a thing. What I hope is that you begin to test these possibilities, ask better or different questions than previously and observe what unfolds in front of you. If you are reading this, you already have a sense beyond most human understanding, so why not let that sense (or senses) continue to evolve and discover what is about to unfold with a little deeper level of faith, love and trust. It is okay to be skeptical, even to rip it up through all kinds of tests you may know or discover along the way. Eventually, you’ll be presented with the question of whether to accept what you’ve found and enjoy a new living awareness.. or not.

Contact in the Desert 2015

Contact-Desert-2015Contact in the Desert – 2105

Contact in the Desert is growing into a premier Ufology event drawing thousands from around the world. When I first arrived on site in 2013 and ran ​into Paul Andrews, I was surprised. Then I decided to rekindle an association that started back in 1998. Paul had invited me to come work for him in LA, just off Venice Beach.

I had spectacular results in running The Prophets Conference in Phoenix the previous October. Jim-ZencompThe only bummer was Cody and Robyn Johnson split town without paying me or Jim Dilettoso (right), who had recommended me to them. We did get something later, but then I had to pay the local waste management and generator folks. It was a sad situation and no one suspected the Axiom Group of such behaviors.

Paul and I didn’t work out at the time back then, but it was good to see he had teamed up with Victoria to produce Contact in the Desert. It was a spectacular showing although at the worst time of year for most folks, especially the elderly. It took two years to move it to May and even this last weekend was a bit too much for many. I ran into a elderly woman using a walker who was obviously determined to be there, but had a heck of time in the heat. Perhaps moving it to a different meteor shower period – Lyrids Meteor Shower – might do, April 22-23 with a full moon on April 22.

Speaking of Victoria, Paul’s event partner, she even got into the act of sharing her experiences and understanding on one of the panels in the amphitheater. It was really great to see one of the event coordinators reveal their story. I’m sure the DVD is available through the Contact in the Desert website. All the presentations will be available soon. Ask around and get your favorites. I think you can get the whole package for around $100.

Zen&JohnAnthonyWest-compI love getting into the thick of things, consistent with my given name, Bruce (means ‘dweller of the thicket), and volunteered as an A/V runner delivering the master copies of DVDs to the duplication station just outside the Sanctuary, the main speaker location. I ran into many folks I’ve known for years and met some new folks as well, like John Anthony West.

Of course there were some challenges with the event. When you have a first-some, first-served entrance into the main events it can be a challenge to get in and/or have a decent seat. There were viewing areas outdoors as well that were packed, too. With folks like Erich Von Daniken, Giorgio Tsoukalos, Jimmy Church and George Noory present there is always a crowd around them. Even at 80 (Erich had a birthday over the weekend) he still stands and delivers with a rapid-fire onset of details and facts from years of experience.

Speaking of experience, Grant Cameron and I had a wonderful, albeit short, chat on Sunday andZen&Grant-comp he requested a copy of Zendor the Contrarian, so I’m waiting with baited breath for the review.  Grant is one of the most observant and reflective of the cadre of Ufologists. He’s a bit like Richard Dolan, who thought I must be tagged upon our initial meeting in Phoenix some years ago. The difference is Grant spends much less time on conspiracy as he looks for the threads of commonality in experiencers and evidence of a larger perspective of Communion amongst humanity and our visitors, entering a new state of consciousness.

The Experiencer Gatherings, hosted by Alan Steinfeld and Barbara Jean Lindsey on Friday and Barbara on Sunday were especially dear to my heart. Many folks come to find corroboration and validation in their experiences, even solace in the fact that they are not alone and their concerns are heard. Each has their own interpretation and understanding depending on their level of consciousness and observation capacity. What seemed to be stressed the most through the sharings was to not be afraid and embrace the energy instead of trying to fight it.

Danny&Zen-compNow that doesn’t mean complete surrender to that which you might feel dangerous. It was mentioned that although one may not be prepared, the process of evolution – coming to terms with the cosmic consciousness condensed into form – is tantamount to rising above the fear, guilt and shame game that inhibits the sense of Oneness that more advanced experiencers acknowledge. The sense of open-heartedness in the meetings was obvious in how folks treated one another, too.

The attendance for the event has grown by leaps and bounds, with parking strewn across the 17-acre grounds. I’m not sure of the exact attendance, but it seemed around a couple thousand. We had around five thousand come through at the Prophets Conference in 1997. Event attendance in general is down from years past, but it’s beginning to climb again. The contrast of being in the open-air instead of hotel or resort environments is refreshing, kinda of a Burning Man rendition of Ufology.

Walking around the grounds at night revealed many small groupings of folks enjoy each others DannySheehan-FREE-compcompany, perhaps for the first time. An observer could easily recognize the exuberance and childlike spontaneity of experiencers all across the event grounds. There were some real serious types that often find it difficult to be happy, but the majority of folks by far enjoyed the weekend of Contact in the Desert.

In view but not a big topic of discussion was the presence of FREE via posters Rey Hernandez left with me from the International UFO Congress in February. I’m already looking forward to next year. Thanks to Paul and Victoria and all the staff and volunteers who made this event a memorable one for thousands. In only its third year it is promising to be one of the largest gatherings in the world now. If you considered going this year, but didn’t, I’d make sure to get your ticket early next year.

Volunteers-FREEWe also invite you to find and visit the Rose Cottage in the evenings for some conversation and comaraderie. You’ll meet some of the most interesting folks in a much more intimate environment. Our small group of diverse and unique travelers will welcome you with style and grace. Look forward to seeing you there!

This year’s gathering included Ron James and Steven Bassett. Ron and I had met several years ago when he owned Dream Theater in the Village of Oak Creek, just outside Sedona. An old friend, Swami Beyondananda, was doing a show there. Ron runs a magnificent network called iVolveTV that features material you just have to explore. He also produced the Citizens Hearing DVDs.

Btw, we’re looking for more authors for UfologyPRSS. If you’d like to contribute, please sent us an email with your contact information and reason for wanting to be a contributor, plus a writing sample or link to something of yours online.

Contact in the Desert

Your Chance to Win Tickets!

Now in its third year amidst the desert background in the Joshua Tree area, Contact in the Desert is moving the the end of May. Patrons are getting their wish as the previous August dates, even with the Perseid meteor showers, was challenging to heat-sensitive folks. It’s a beautiful venue, though.

Contact in the Desert New Dates

Joshua Tree Retreat Center is the oldest and largest retreat center in the Western United States; a unique architectural landmark on a sacred site. Their mission is to support the education and nourishment of the infinite human potential. The atmosphere is certainly conducive, especially with the new dates for the 2015 Contact in the Desert event.

You can enter to win two free passes for the weekend, too. Click on this link. It’s time sensitive. Make sure you look up our Curator, Zen Benefiel, at the event. He’ll be staying in the Rose Cottage and will undoubtedly be hosting some great after-hours discussions. Keep your eyes and the skies and your head in the silence within… that’s where you’ll find the most interesting conversations.

Higgs-boson… alternative view

behold the universeThe GOD Participle…

another view of the Higgs-boson, formerly known as the GOD Particle.

The GOD Participle? What the heck is that? I’ll get to that in a moment, but I want to keep you guessing for now. Meanwhile, I’d like to take a look at the infamous ‘GOD Particle’… Higgs-boson as it is known. I’m asking you to join me in an exploration of another perspective of possibility that is perhaps way outside the box.

First of all, let’s look at what the Higgs-boson is reported to represent. Let’s look at a few definitions from across the web. From the Free Dictionary:

A hypothetical, massive subatomic particle with zero electric charge. The Higgs boson is postulated to interact with other particles in such a way as to impart mass to them. It is predicted by the standard model, but has yet to be isolated experimentally. The Higgs boson is named after its discoverer, British theoretical physicist Peter Ware Higgs (born 1929).

Here’s another interesting take from the Science – How It Works site:

Can’t matter just inherently have mass without the Higgs boson confusing things? Not according to the standard model. But physicists have found a solution. What if all particles have no inherent mass, but instead gain mass by passing through a field? This field, known as a Higgs field, could affect different particles in different ways. Photons could slide through unaffected, while W and Z bosons would get bogged down with mass. In fact, assuming the Higgs boson exists, everything that has mass gets it by interacting with the all-powerful Higgs field, which occupies the entire universe. Like the other fields covered by the standard model, the Higgs one would need a carrier particle to affect other particles, and that particle is known as the Higgs boson.

Now, that might give you at least a partial working knowledge of what the excitement is allet-humanyinyang about for the ‘discovery’ of the particle. Here’s the really interesting twist, though… There was no particle, but the ‘decay’ of which was determined to reveal the existence of the particle even though it was never ‘seen.’ I personally find the whole quantum physics perspective a little far-fetched. Science is supposed to be about hard facts and repeatable results. I’m fairly intelligent and it’s hard for me to wrap my head around a field yielding a particle that transmits mass.

It reminds me of the discoveries at Los Alamos that revealed the scientists observing experiments actually had an effect on them. So thought seems to affect the process, but doesn’t necessarily carry mass with it, unless it’s just baggage from a belief system. 🙂 At any rate, it just seems counter-intuitive that matter or mass is transferred via some theoretical particle. Furthermore, it would seem even more preposterous that an explosion would produce any such particle.

That explosion was the result of ramming two protons together at near-light speed. These ‘hadrons’ theoretically fuse together when collided and form another even smaller particle, a remnant. It’s like slamming two oranges together at breakneck speeds and having a fused seed as a result. That really makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it? Perhaps it does. With all the technical jargon and mathematical equations, the analogy gets lost in the intellectual vocabulary that only scientists supposedly understand.

Okay, so now that we’ve made some progress regarding the ‘understanding’ of the Higgs-boson perhaps there is another explanation or even discovery that has gone unnoticed by the scientific community. It would seem that the lenses from which they are looking might be a little skewed or undervalued by ‘what’ they are look for instead of acknowledging what is really being ‘seen’ from simple observation. The discovery is just as magnificent, but may come as quite a surprise if they are willing to look.

Of course I could be totally wrong, but I think the logic will hold up at least for the purpose of sharing another possibility. Let’s start with just the observation of the explosion. It is at a sub-atomic level. In the electromagnetic spectrum and according to M-Theory, there are multiple dimensions or layers of ‘reality’ as one might perceive. The notion seems to be consistent with all the layers of bandwidth and understanding of the various frequencies that have been associated with different types of ‘rays’ whether from a scientific point of view or from an ‘ascended master’ POV. The latter involved varies ‘rays’ of consciousness instead of electromagnetic notations. Both probably describe the same thing.

So, this explosion then may produce a rip in the fabric between said ‘dimensions’ or ‘rays’ that is observable as the ‘decay’ of the particle in question rather than indicating an actual particle. The ‘decay’ is perhaps the reverse or ‘repair’ of the rip instead. Rather than proving the ‘particle’ theory it may indeed prove that M-Theory is indeed true and yet unseen in this example because the eyes that were looking had a different spectacle in mind.  Like I said, it may not be true. However, I think it at least is worthy of some further consideration.

What I find even more pertinent to the ‘work’ that scientists are performing on the substrates of reality comes from an announcement made many decades ago.  We, as humans, weren’t in a good place to really hear what was being said just yet. However, reviewing the text now does offer some additional insights, in the author’s opinion at least.

et-disc-binaryLet’s look at the first message known to be from Ashtar through the human known as George Van Tassel.

July 18, 1952

Hail to you beings of Shan, I greet you in love and peace, my identity is Ashtar, commandant quadra sector, patrol station Schare, all projections, all waves.

Greetings, through The Council of the Seven Lights, you have been brought here inspired with the inner light to help your fellow man. You are mortals and other mortals can only understand that which their fellow man can understand.

The purpose of this organization is, in a sense, to save mankind from himself. Some years ago your time, your nuclear physicists penetrated the “Book of Knowledge”; they discovered how to explode the atom.

Disgusting as the results have been, that this force should be used for destruction, it is not compared to that which can be.

We have not been concerned with their explosion of plutonium and UR 235, the Uranium mother element; this atom is an inert element. We are concerned, however, with their attempt to explode the hydrogen element.

This element is life giving along with five other elements in the air you breathe, in the water you drink, in the composition of your physical substance, hydrogen.

Their efforts in the field of science have been successful to the extent that they are not content to rest on the laurels of a power beyond their use, not content with the entire destruction of an entire deity at a time. They must have something more destructive, they’ve got it.

When they explode the hydrogen atom, they shall extinguish life on this planet. They are tinkering with a formula they do not comprehend. They are destroying a life giving element of the Creative Intelligence.

Our message to you is this: you shall advance to your government all information we have transmitted to you. You shall request that your government shall immediately contact all other earth nations regardless of political feelings.

Many of your physicists, with an inner perception development have refused to have anything to do with the explosion of the hydrogen atom.

The explosion of an atom of inert substances and that of a living substance are two different things. We are not concerned with their deliberate determination to extinguish humanity and turn this planet into a cinder.

Your materialism will disagree with our attempt to warn mankind. Rest assured, they shall cease to explode life giving atoms, or we shall eliminate all projects connected with such.

Our missions are peaceful, but this condition occurred before in this solar system and the planet, Lucifer, was torn to bits. We are determined that it shall not happen again.

The governments on the planet Shan have conceded that we are of a higher intelligence, they must concede also that we are of a higher authority. We do not have to enter their buildings to know what they are doing. We have the formula they would like to use. It is not meant for destruction.

Your purpose here has been to build a receptivity that we could communicate with your planet, for by the attraction of light substances, atoms, we patrol your universe.

To your government and to your people and through them to all governments and all people on the planet of Shan, accept the warning as a blessing that mankind may survive.

My light, we shall remain in touch here at this cone of receptivity. My love, I am Ashtar 

We now know that hydrogen is the bonding agent for the DNA helix as well. So, we are still somewhat ill-informed regarding our nature. Science is showing that, in spite of the purpose of the look, there are discoveries being made that extend beyond their queries. Consciousness is leaking through into the notion of scientific discoveries… perhaps.advice - no separation

Alright, I mentioned the GOD Participle earlier in reference to the discovery. (I just have to share
that there has been an appearance of a hummingbird several times outside my window as I’ve been writing this, peering in on me as it were. I have not noticed such an appearance in my new home/window to date.)

What is the GOD Participle? If you are an educator, especially an English teacher, then you’ll remember the definition of a participle:

a word formed from a verb (e.g., going, gone, being, been ) and used as an adjective (e.g., working woman, burned toast ) or a noun (e.g., good breeding ). In English, participles are also used to make compound verb forms (e.g., is going, has been ).

The definition gives away the answer. It’s quite simply the most elegant word in the English language, too. In order to observe the process of how I came up with the perspective that allowed me to present an alternative view of the Higgs-boson notion I had to be in a particular place. In the presentation of this place across a plethora of fields it is simply known as…. BEING. That is the GOD Participle. Perhaps you can explore it further on your own. I’ll be writing about it more in an upcoming book by the same title.

Like the separation of people that religion promotes, scientific perspectives are no different. It would be amazing to witness great minds step back and consider the possibilities their discoveries may indeed provide for mankinds evolution toward harmony among people and planet. Just for a moment, let’s look at the multidimensional aspect of this discovery. How might that fit into the broad ufology horizon?

Let’s consider the possibility of a multi-plane consciousness we haven’t really become familiar with as of yet. This model of the electromagnetic spectrum includes various layers of bandwidth with attending frequency ranges. Each of these layers has a theme; an awareness/function as well as a body perhaps, just like ours here on Earth’s bandwidth in the spectrum. Maybe these seeming holographic appearances of different lifeforms are just those able to cross the veils of the separation of the layers. We may have more neighbors than we think.

Thanks allowing me to rent space in your head for bit. I hope you found value in the duration of our shared space.

First Contact Imminent

The binary disc decoded: "Beware of the bearer's of gifts and the broken promises. Much pain but still time. Believe there is good out there. We oppose the deceivers. The conduit is closing." The window: 1987-2037; the 'shift' between Piscean & Aquarian ages.

The binary disc decoded: “Beware of the bearer’s of gifts and the broken promises. Much pain but still time. Believe there is good out there. We oppose the deceivers. The conduit is closing.” The window: 1987-2037; the ‘shift’ between Piscean & Aquarian ages.

First Contact Imminent

It was February 13, 2001 sometime around midnight in Phoenix, Arizona. I’d just gotten horizontal after an evening of chatting with folks on SpiritWeb about the Ashtar Command and what the ‘contactee’ experience was like for me. It had been going on for decades, since childhood, with no sense of malevolence whatsoever.

I found that many were still caught up in mixed emotions and concern for ‘negative’ ETs that seemed to get in the way of their development. Fear is just not a factor in the thin worlds. It simply does not exist. That may sound very confusing to those with ‘abduction’ experiences that have left an indelible mark. I have an entire book about that, Alien Agendas and Anal Probes. But I digress…

Lying there in quiet contemplation, all of a sudden I felt the transition between worlds that has become so familiar over the years. It’s like being freed from one world to enter another accompanied by a definite shift in the sensation of vibration. I’m sure its subtle, but inside it feels dramatic. There is a sound that is beyond hearing that accompanies the shift. It feels like a wind at my back, catapulting my relation-ship beyond the ocean of emotion.

This one was a bit different, though. My focus seemed to expand and contract simultaneously. I was fully conscious and it felt really strange. The practice of ‘seeing’ is much like scrying with a mirror or looking at an image that has a 3-D effect, gazing without looking intentionally. Years later in DMT – The Spirit Molecule I read accounts of folks who tried to explain their experience and they seemed to draw upon the same kind of explanations for their non-linear experiences.

I found myself in front of a large group of folks that looked they came from across the galaxy; so many varieties I was taken by surprise for a moment, but I have to say it felt quite natural and normal. Then my consciousness shifted again, into the ‘performance mode’ where I was able to observe yet another part of me was in charge. I was performing as a facilitator for the meeting, feeling like I was in complete charge.

As my focus developed and dissipated, I could tell I was on board a ship of substantial size. Sounds like a paradox, huh? Developed and dissipated… but that is how it seemed. I was in a large meeting room that reminded me of a lecture hall from college, with several hundred in the audience. This audience was not your standard student body though; far from it. I had simultaneous questions as I was ‘performing’ the emcee function.

There were dozens of different races represented in the group, too many to recall them all, but there was a sense of unity amongst them that felt familiar for some reason. I felt confident in the plethora of participants and the myriads of systems they represented, all members of the Galactic Federation. I understood the latter without question. Although there was no obvious announcement of their affiliation, the sense of unity was profound and complete.

The exact details are too cumbersome to elucidate here now, but the focus of the meeting was to go over the agreed upon processes, protocols, rules and responsibilities of ‘First Contact’ on Earth. It was apparent the process had been going on for some time; no exact date for establishing a ‘time and place’ event. Truth be known, it started millennia ago while humans were just beginning to evolve on their own.

It was time to begin the strategic actions to bring consciousness among humanity to a new level. They had advanced to a point of priority for planetary survival. It would become necessary for many kinds of open contact to occur. Humans were still too projective with the energy and they had not learned how to listen, so many methods and options were to be discussed. The 2012 Winter Solstice was one of the points of order under discussion, when the awareness of humans would reach a ‘tipping point’ in the process.

That may seem like a simple concept, listening, but the depth of the listening is what enables the interdimensional travel beyond the linear frameworks that humans have developed. You might recall a line in one of the favorite books among humankind stating, ‘for those who have the ears to hear and the eyes to see.’ When consciousness shifts, so does one’s ability to become aware and perceive.

One of the ways this was to be accomplished was the voluntary incarnation of some of the members of the Federation, developing as normal humans within the population yet being able to accelerate the advancement of consciousness along with the natural development of the human system. I knew that to be true for myself, but I longed for others like me to join the party. Most of the time the ‘incarnates’ are unaware of their true identity for many years, following their passion and purpose like an internal road map.

WheelCoCreationOnly after a decade of holding this within and, although I’ve been quite outspoken about my experiences, this one has not had the ears to hear until now. I have witnessed the growth of listening and as we approached the tipping point, (Winter Solstice of 2012) where consciousness has been expanding globally to understand the shift.

The next 25 years are focused on implementing the garnered awareness into existing systems, across the spectrum. The Co-Creators wheel that Thrive and The Shift Network use is an example.

Now since Jose Arguelles is gone, it seems time to share and take my chances. He wrote a wonderful reflection in an event journal I kept during the Prophets Conference in Phoenix back in 1997, perhaps the beginning of ‘Zen of the Clean Wave Form’ he referenced in his work later. We had many conversations about the transition of the ages and the wisdom necessary to negotiate the change into the New Time.

I’ve had a few conversations with others over the years, but their self-importance and conspiratorial positions simply do not support the Galactic Federation’s agenda as I know it. It is a New Time where consciousness is key and collaboration imperative. Pointing fingers and sharing disturbing references, true or not, only serves to maintain separative notions. In my humble opinion, that kind of behavior is subversive and treasonous to the spirit of Truth.

Another example of Galactic Federation workers’ results, no doubt some aware of their roles in the development, is the ISO 26000 Social Responsibility Standards. This is an example of how representatives from over 90 countries came together with a single goal in mind and created a document that can be used for moving humanity forward expeditiously. However, it is an ‘intentional’ document, one that employees of major corporations can use to encourage their leadership to be better planetary citizens. It is practical and pragmatic.

Stay tuned for more. Look for me at the Contact in the Desert event coming up in August. I won’t be on the schedule, but I will be there. Here’s a review of last year’s event for me. A point of perspection dances in the balance of the seer’s vision. One does not need to be an atheist or religious to find meaning for oneself in life and meaning for life in oneself. I share much more in the book Zendor the Contrarian.

The Truth is Out There…

ChangedPrioritiesXSmallEye to eye contact is a big thing for me. When I’m speaking to someone, especially at this level, I open up and allow my full attention and awareness to become present. As much as I try to eliminate expectations, I have them regarding reciprocal participation in conversation, especially among so-called pundits.

I’ve been told that my gaze can be quite intimidating and I know from experience if someone is not clear – authentic, honest and open – they tend to see me as an invader. Over the years I came to realize what the expression ‘eyes of fire’ truly meant. Still, I adhere to the notion that the eyes are the gateway to the soul and one can see deeply if/when knows how to look.

When you have nothing to hide and you know that Source flows through you, it tends to burn right through the bullshit that others tend to carry. It took me years to get to that place, but it doesn’t mean I know everything. Most of the time I know nothing, I’m just open. There is a lot of disinformation and misdirection in Ufology, and for many reasons. You can speculate on those reasons, but I won’t waste words here now.

I don’t intend to be invasive, although I have to admit that it could seem so. I know I can get pretty intense when I’m looking for the nature of truth within another. Whether they are able to reveal it or not is another story. I believe we all have the capability of this ‘view’ but very rarely do we choose to be so bold. Like Goethe says, ‘boldness has genius, power and magic in it.’

At any rate, in noticing whether eye contact is consistent or even made is a big indicator for truth telling. When we purposely lower the head to look into his eyes of another it makes us wonder what’s going on inside the other. Of course there are many reasons one may not be present in the conversation and we often don’t take the time to literally ask someone to be present when it is obvious they are not. That tends to seem confrontational.

I had met someone who many hold in high regard that channels and writes books and monthly updates about the Galactic Federation’s activity. I’d asked to meet this gentleman some years before and the opportunity finally arrived. It was so well-orchestrated that he came to a friend’s bookstore to speak. She let me know he was coming so that I could arrive early and have time for a chat. It’s great to have wonderful friends.

During our conversation he stared at my chest mostly and as much as I tried not to, it felt like he was avoiding my gaze on purpose, possibly because he did not want me to ‘see’ something he was trying to hide. I kept hoping he would at least look me in the eyes for lingering moment, but all I got was occasional glimpses. I knew he had advanced degrees, one of them in communication, so he was aware of conversational protocols. Maybe he thought I wasn’t, but I chose not to speak up about my concerns.

I have to say I did not specifically ask him why, so at best I’m speculating as to the reason he could or would not look me in the eyes. However, it led me to believe there was something out of integrity within him that he did not want me to see. I’m concerned that folks like this often garner a following who want to believe everything and hinge on their every word, whether out of their mouth or in writing. I cringe at the lack of discernment I see at times.

So it is within the Ufology movement now, there are many who have been dragging people along for years who may or may not hold their truths to be self-evident but they sure want to make people believe so. I’m sure it seems like I may be of that ilk at times. However, truth will prove itself as long as we learn how to test it appropriately. In the realms of Ufology there are plenty of experiencers who have little proof of their experiences; non-linear and non-local events are hard to prove without corroboration and/or witnesses who validate them.

We have a hard enough time with physical reality. Entering Ufology is a trip down a rabbit hole that offers potential bridges between inner and outer worlds, other dimensions of time and space as well as on- and off-planet relationships with a plethora of races and technology. Some get caught up in the fear of invasion. Others propose there is no intent of invasion, only the request to learn how to get along so they can visit openly. Still others contend there is a sinister plan that engages shadow governments and alien technology.

Bottom line is the folks need a system for discernment, for understanding of how to interpret these notions for themselves. The truth is often far different than early perceptions with little facts to back up the conjecture. Humans tend to look for enemies around every corner as we’ve been inducted into a kind of militaristic politic of self-protective notions that may or may not serve the greater good. Should we question authority? Absolutely! We need to learn the best questions to do so, revealing the truth for all in individuated fashion.

Individuated fashion? We all perceive things differently based on our history, intelligence and world view. Can this all change in a moment’s notice? Sure, but we rarely do. What I’m suggesting is that there needs to be a kind of adhocracy that encourages considerate yet direct conversations with those who seek to share information. Pertinent and poignant questions can be developed, much like the early abduction/contact or starseed questionnaires.  I think it’s time for the field to evolve. Don’t you?

The real voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but having new eyes. The Ashtar Command and Galactic Federation promote universal law and understanding of reality as ONE fabric with many threads, like our  indigenous planetary residents. There are other indigenous residents that have the ability to interact with plants without harming anyet-disc-binary of the cell structure. The increase of communication reflects yet another attempt to unify humanity toward harmony with a greater consciousness.

The binary disc decoded: “Beware of the bearer’s of gifts and the broken promises. Much pain but still time. Believe there is good out there. We oppose the deceivers. The conduit is closing.”

ET Human Hybrids or Humans in Drag

reptilians-hybridET Human Hybrids or Humans in Drag

What about ET Human Hybrids? Are they humans in drag? I was fortunate to have a few moments with Grant Cameron before and after a recent presentation at the Phoenix MUFON group. Jim Mann and Stacey Wright have grown this group considerably and always provide great presenters, attracting folks from across the state in response.

I had been anticipating a brief conversation and the opportunity to share my second volume of Zendor the Barbarian in hopes of stimulating further conversation. Both were realized and then some. I hadn’t been to a MUFON meeting in over a year evidently and had been missed. I was able to enter and spend a bit of time with Cameron while others waited. I really appreciated the freedom Stacey offered. I was able to have some real quality time and in-depth conversation quickly.

Grant’s blog outlines his presentation that involved the notion that UFO experiences and experiencers have been happening in phases, with one leading toward the next in a gradual introduction or potential induction into a larger society. Of course there are some concerns for any dominant culture’s attempt to influence a society, let alone an entire planet. However, their superiority could have taken the form of planetary conquering long ago if that is what they were truly after in my humble opinion. Still, we have an enigma on our hands. What do they really want? What are these so-called ‘flaps’ of activity leading toward?

The focus of the conversation I was taking perhaps would take Cameron’s work to a new level. I was asking questions about the next level of Ufology inquiry – where are the hybrids? If these abductions/contacts involved harvesting eggs and semen, then where are the kids? If there has been interactions with the human population for thousands of years, how can we be sure there are not thousands if not millions of hybrids here already, either aware or unaware of who and what they are to date?

Our after dinner conversation brought up Dr. Jacobs work and the reports of a group of hybrids (not integrated into society already) being kept somewhere in the US. They weren’t captives, but being introduced to planetary protocols and systems gradually. For instance, there was no concept of furniture or its arrangement in an apartment-type setting. Be that as it may, my interest was more practical (I thought) in the notion of humans with lineages who were already perceptually human, meaning they were probably adopted and raised by families unaware of their advanced nature, yet quite aware of their advanced athletic and academic performance levels.

Cameron’s presentation included the obvious influence of higher-than-human intelligence on the production of music and with specific musicians who had professed their belief in extraterrestrials and UFOs for the entire careers, not always finding public favor I might add. Nonetheless, their music was affected and so were their audiences – millions and possibly billions affected by the airplay over years and years of popularity. For the moment, let’s get back to the question of hybrids and what Dr. Jacobs has to say…

I’m familiar with Dr. Jacobs as well, but I haven’t had the opportunity for a face-to-face yet. Cameron refers to him as well and John Mack. It is my opinion that, although his work (like John Mack’s) is revolutionary, it still leaves certain questions unasked and unexplored. He remains unclear about the ‘process’ as he refers to it. It is my opinion that there is a more subtle and profoundly integrated process of universal order in play. I’ve had reports in working with folks using the Multi-Plane Awareness technique that include seeing their ‘natural’ bodies on other dimensions as various forms we currently call extraterrestrial. I’ve also found that in particular ‘soul gazing’ events (long and lingering looks into the eyes where participants ‘gaze’ into each other) various facial morphs occur, some of them into other races.

So this gives rise to the question of their specie of origin even though they are human in this physical dimension. I’m not sure that there is genetic manipulation occurring. My own experience includes an ‘abduction’ (which I would have consented to so I don’t see it as an abduction per se) in which I awoke with electrodes lining my sphincter and later was told they were part of the process of raising my vibration so that it was easier to communicate. The science fits using the perineum as a direct connect to the spine and central nervous system. Could we indeed be the condensation of consciousness that manifests in human forms due to planetary protocols? Is our evolutionary path inclusive of remembering this process of condensation of consciousness (the gradual lowering of frequency into form)?

What are your thoughts?

Parental Postulate

behold the universeUnexpected Glimpse at Parental Guidance

After joining the New Age Alliance I had volunteered to be an ‘investigator’ of organizations that were applying for membership. The New Age Alliance was a Phoenix-metro member-group organization founded in the late 1980s. It’s purpose was to provide a unified front for sharing ethics-based philosophy regarding accountability and responsibility in the New Age.

One of my assignments was to investigate a group that had formed around a channel for an entity named Jabar. Lauren Schmidt was the ‘channel’ and his townhouse was used as their regular meeting place. I thought it would be great for our elder daughter to experience as well, since she had showed signs of being highly sensitive.

My background with channels was a bit skewed as I’d found most of them to be skilled manipulators that were more about power than perfection. Many are excellent body language readers and work off cues the people offer without their awareness. I knew enough from all the reading I had done that information was available and could be easily promoted as though it was being ‘channeled.’ I’d met some folks that ‘felt’ much different, though, like Steve and April White.

I had introduced myself and my daughter upon arrival and that I was there on Alliance business. Lauren was a pleasant man to converse with, showing no signs of being interested in his own profit, although there was a charge. I was there for free, though. There were about 30 or so people there and we all sat around the living room of the townhouse. Some chairs were provided, but most of us sat on the floor. Krystal and I sat to the side against the wall.

We talked for a few moments while the other guests were arriving. I would let him know of the status of their membership submission after reporting back to the New Age Alliance membership committee. I liked what I’d found so far and told him so. He smiled, patted me on the back and went to change.

Just prior to the group session he had changed into a shiny emerald green floor-length robe, appearing very regal if I might add. My daughter and I sat on the floor in the back of three rows of people, leaning on the wall next to the arcadia door. I thought this would be a good vantage point to view the show. I also liked that we had something to lean against.

Lauren sat down and explained what was about to happen, invited us to have a short meditation, and went into his ‘channeling’ mode. I watched as he went through a process of preparation in order to channel. He did some centering exercises with his arms and breath, visibly becoming more relaxed. I’m not sure about the others, but I felt more open as well.

His energy changed dramatically, yet subtly, and he appeared to physically become more centered and upright, like his body was being straightened by a posture coach. I could sense another presence, too, or at least there was a definite shift in my awareness.

He was a bit different than most I’d witnessed in that he stood and walked around with his eyes wide open. He addressed several people with questions and answers and then turned his eyes on me with a little more of an intense gaze. It looked very inquisitive.

Parental Postulate

At first I thought, okay… here it comes. I looked into his eyes wondering what was going to come out of his mouth. He stood there for a moment, just looking.

Then he said, ‘You are still looking for your parents, aren’t you?’ Wow, that was totally unexpected. How did he know? Now, how was I going to respond?

I had said nothing of my adoption or quest for finding my biological parents, let alone celestial parents. Immediately I knew something was up and he had some connection beyond the manipulators. I relaxed as much as I could, took a deep breath and replied.

So I answered, “Yes, but I’m not so interested in the terrestrial lineage as much as I am the celestial lineage now.” I had longed for some kind of terrestrial connection for most of my life, but had recently realized I needed to move beyond it.

“That’s good,” he replied, “’but you’d still like to know who they are wouldn’t you?” I replied, “Of course,” not knowing what was about to come.

“Would you like to know their names?” he asked and I said, “Absolutely!” All I heard after a slight pause was, “They are A…. and A….” I blocked out his words for some reason, like I was not willing to listen. It was odd because he spoke quite loudly and was easy to hear otherwise. ‘Odd,’ I thought, then, ‘shit, I missed a golden opportunity.”

Since I did not hear the names I had no knowledge of who they were yet, but I knew he’d given actual names even though all I heard were the first letters. I sat there for a moment, puzzled and not wanting to appear like I wasn’t listening. I had a moment of extreme depression having missed the names.

Since I didn’t hear them I couldn’t say, “Could you repeat that please?”  So I just said, “Thank you,” and didn’t say anything else. He paused for a moment as if expecting me to say something else, I didn’t, so he moved on to the next person. I had a thought…

I turned and asked my daughter what he’d said, not knowing if she would recall. She replied, ‘Ashtar and Athena.’ My mind was conflicted and confused, but I held on, as it raced through the recent events.

Although I was familiar with Ashtar and Athena by now, hearing Jabar’s answer sent me reeling. What the heck is going on? I want to make sense of all this, but it was beyond my ability to create some kind of logical explanation. Part of me wanted to know more and another part of me was afraid to ask. I’m sure you might be a little concerned if you were in my shoes, too. What would you do?

My daughter was full of questions on the way home. She wanted to know who Ashtar and Athena were because she knew Nanna and Pawpaw were Daddy’s parents. We had no conversations about my adoption yet, and I wasn’t sure how to answer her.

I framed the answer like a fairy tale where Daddy was a lost boy who had been raised by adoptive parents. Something had happened to his parents after he was born and Nanna and Pawpaw had come to his rescue. They couldn’t have children of their own, but they really wanted a son, so they had been looking for him for a while. They were delighted when they found him and raised him as their own.

I explained that he had known this was true early on, and grew up like they were his real parents. When he got older, he started his own family, but he was still looking for his ‘real’ parents so he could rejoin his own family. He loved his parents very much and would always, but there was something unfinished. Jabar provided some information for the story to continue, but he didn’t know how it would end.

It was hard to separate myself from the story, but by telling her that way it seemed to give me some distance that felt healthy.