Unexpected Glimpse at Parental Guidance
After joining the New Age Alliance I had volunteered to be an ‘investigator’ of organizations that were applying for membership. The New Age Alliance was a Phoenix-metro member-group organization founded in the late 1980s. It’s purpose was to provide a unified front for sharing ethics-based philosophy regarding accountability and responsibility in the New Age.
One of my assignments was to investigate a group that had formed around a channel for an entity named Jabar. Lauren Schmidt was the ‘channel’ and his townhouse was used as their regular meeting place. I thought it would be great for our elder daughter to experience as well, since she had showed signs of being highly sensitive.
My background with channels was a bit skewed as I’d found most of them to be skilled manipulators that were more about power than perfection. Many are excellent body language readers and work off cues the people offer without their awareness. I knew enough from all the reading I had done that information was available and could be easily promoted as though it was being ‘channeled.’ I’d met some folks that ‘felt’ much different, though, like Steve and April White.
I had introduced myself and my daughter upon arrival and that I was there on Alliance business. Lauren was a pleasant man to converse with, showing no signs of being interested in his own profit, although there was a charge. I was there for free, though. There were about 30 or so people there and we all sat around the living room of the townhouse. Some chairs were provided, but most of us sat on the floor. Krystal and I sat to the side against the wall.
We talked for a few moments while the other guests were arriving. I would let him know of the status of their membership submission after reporting back to the New Age Alliance membership committee. I liked what I’d found so far and told him so. He smiled, patted me on the back and went to change.
Just prior to the group session he had changed into a shiny emerald green floor-length robe, appearing very regal if I might add. My daughter and I sat on the floor in the back of three rows of people, leaning on the wall next to the arcadia door. I thought this would be a good vantage point to view the show. I also liked that we had something to lean against.
Lauren sat down and explained what was about to happen, invited us to have a short meditation, and went into his ‘channeling’ mode. I watched as he went through a process of preparation in order to channel. He did some centering exercises with his arms and breath, visibly becoming more relaxed. I’m not sure about the others, but I felt more open as well.
His energy changed dramatically, yet subtly, and he appeared to physically become more centered and upright, like his body was being straightened by a posture coach. I could sense another presence, too, or at least there was a definite shift in my awareness.
He was a bit different than most I’d witnessed in that he stood and walked around with his eyes wide open. He addressed several people with questions and answers and then turned his eyes on me with a little more of an intense gaze. It looked very inquisitive.
At first I thought, okay… here it comes. I looked into his eyes wondering what was going to come out of his mouth. He stood there for a moment, just looking.
Then he said, ‘You are still looking for your parents, aren’t you?’ Wow, that was totally unexpected. How did he know? Now, how was I going to respond?
I had said nothing of my adoption or quest for finding my biological parents, let alone celestial parents. Immediately I knew something was up and he had some connection beyond the manipulators. I relaxed as much as I could, took a deep breath and replied.
So I answered, “Yes, but I’m not so interested in the terrestrial lineage as much as I am the celestial lineage now.” I had longed for some kind of terrestrial connection for most of my life, but had recently realized I needed to move beyond it.
“That’s good,” he replied, “’but you’d still like to know who they are wouldn’t you?” I replied, “Of course,” not knowing what was about to come.
“Would you like to know their names?” he asked and I said, “Absolutely!” All I heard after a slight pause was, “They are A…. and A….” I blocked out his words for some reason, like I was not willing to listen. It was odd because he spoke quite loudly and was easy to hear otherwise. ‘Odd,’ I thought, then, ‘shit, I missed a golden opportunity.”
Since I did not hear the names I had no knowledge of who they were yet, but I knew he’d given actual names even though all I heard were the first letters. I sat there for a moment, puzzled and not wanting to appear like I wasn’t listening. I had a moment of extreme depression having missed the names.
Since I didn’t hear them I couldn’t say, “Could you repeat that please?” So I just said, “Thank you,” and didn’t say anything else. He paused for a moment as if expecting me to say something else, I didn’t, so he moved on to the next person. I had a thought…
I turned and asked my daughter what he’d said, not knowing if she would recall. She replied, ‘Ashtar and Athena.’ My mind was conflicted and confused, but I held on, as it raced through the recent events.
Although I was familiar with Ashtar and Athena by now, hearing Jabar’s answer sent me reeling. What the heck is going on? I want to make sense of all this, but it was beyond my ability to create some kind of logical explanation. Part of me wanted to know more and another part of me was afraid to ask. I’m sure you might be a little concerned if you were in my shoes, too. What would you do?
My daughter was full of questions on the way home. She wanted to know who Ashtar and Athena were because she knew Nanna and Pawpaw were Daddy’s parents. We had no conversations about my adoption yet, and I wasn’t sure how to answer her.
I framed the answer like a fairy tale where Daddy was a lost boy who had been raised by adoptive parents. Something had happened to his parents after he was born and Nanna and Pawpaw had come to his rescue. They couldn’t have children of their own, but they really wanted a son, so they had been looking for him for a while. They were delighted when they found him and raised him as their own.
I explained that he had known this was true early on, and grew up like they were his real parents. When he got older, he started his own family, but he was still looking for his ‘real’ parents so he could rejoin his own family. He loved his parents very much and would always, but there was something unfinished. Jabar provided some information for the story to continue, but he didn’t know how it would end.
It was hard to separate myself from the story, but by telling her that way it seemed to give me some distance that felt healthy.